Are you Stuck?
Troubled by a memory or experience that has become an endless loop in your mind?
If it’s an incident that occurred unexpectedly, like a work project that blew up, a car accident, an unexpected termination from your job, or a relationship break up you didn’t see coming. It could be the “Zeigarnik Effect” at work.
The “Zeigarnik Effect” was named after the psychologist who discovered the phenomenon that our brains tend to remember tasks or experiences that are interrupted or incomplete. Memories of unexpected or unfinished situations can weigh heavily on our mind. And, if it was unpleasant they are also usually associated with negative emotions.
If you find yourself stuck with an unpleasant memory, here is a strategy that might help you move on:
✳️ Instead of trying to avoid the memory, look at it head-on. Journal about it or if you are artistically inclined make a painting. Find a way to make it really concrete. Trying to shut it off isn’t working, so try to boldly visualize the memory of the incident, in detail.
✳️ Let yourself fully experience the emotions. Rather than fighting the feelings, let yourself embrace them. Create a representation of the emotions; find a word, a color, a picture, or an object; something that symbolizes your emotions. Focus on it.
✳️ Then design a way to create space between you and the memory. For example, you can take your representation of the memory and literally put it away. Perhaps in an envelope, a box, the trash or you can physically bury it. Allow some time to pass. You may gradually realize this was one but one incident in your life, and then often the distress dissipates.
If this exercise doesn’t get you “unstuck,” consider seeking the support of a therapist. It’s possible that this incident has triggered other emotional injuries from the past. A skilled therapist can accompany you on a healing journey to help you reclaim your peace.
