I was reflecting on why so many professionals in leadership and service related fields like health care, education, law, and development work are suffering from moral injury.
For professionals in these high intensity roles, work isn’t just a job, it’s a calling… a calling to make a difference in the lives of others, to make the world better. This calling, or passion, is driven by values and beliefs that often were laid down early in life. Values form the bedrock for choices and decisions throughout life and career.
Values you may hold like social justice, equity, human rights, freedom of speech, access to health care, or education, or clean water, it’s your unwavering commitment to these values that drives you to work hard, to stay committed even when the going gets tough. You are not a stranger to disappointments, misunderstandings, setbacks and failure. Despite these challenges, you always persist and move forward, because of your values.
These types of challenges impact you at the cognitive, emotional, and even physical level. For example you might experience mental exhaustion and frustration, or intense emotions like sadness, anxiety, and anger as well as just sheer physical exhaustion that comes from protracted 60-80 hour work weeks with no break.
What is different about moral injury is that it’s about values, your reason for being, life purpose, your belief system. When these get rocked it results in a whole other level of anguish. This anguish impacts your thought processes, your emotions and your physical being. Anger becomes rage, sadness becomes unshakable depression and despair. It is a sense of hopelessness that you did not know before.
When your career demands a compromise in values, when the institutions and systems you committed your life betray you…when you know it’s wrong and feel paralyzed….that’s an assault on your values.
When your values and purpose are assaulted, you can’t “fix” it by thinking your way through it or by self medicating with alcohol, or prescription medications. No amount of high intensity extreme sports or just working harder is going to take away your pain.
When the injury is at this core level of your sense of purpose, your values and beliefs, first you have to name it and understand what has happened. There is tremendous relief in this first step. Allowing that to settle into your awareness. Sit with this for a while.
Your very calling may have predisposed you to moral injury. It’s time to heal.
Healing from moral injury begins by naming it and understanding what has happened to you.
